Answers to your questions about dating marriage and family

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Decades of radio counseling, personal experience, and public and private discussions about marriage prompt me to write this list of questions for anyone contemplating marriage. Is the person your best friend or at least becoming so? This is probably the single most overlooked question among couples, especially young ones. Many people cannot not answer this in the affirmative. Over time, friendship is the greatest bond between a couple. One of the most devastating ideas of the last generation was that needing or depending upon another person is a sign of weakness. The inability to need is a sign of weakness — you are afraid to relinquish power or afraid to be hurt. Nearly always, a woman who dates a man who meets the criteria listed here can grow to find him sexually attractive.

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Presumably that should be the easiest time to get along — no children together, no joint financial problems, and the excitement of a new person. So a lack of enthusiasm for the person you are considering for marriage on the part of family or friends may mean little or nothing.

Watch how he or she treats waitresses, employees, family members and anyone else he/she comes into contact with. Here is a rule that is rarely broken: Whatever problems you have before the wedding day, you will have during your marriage. The more you share, especially values, the better your chances of a good marriage. If you are basically happy, do not think for a moment that you can make an unhappy person happy by marrying him or her.I promise you how the person treats others now is how this person will treat you later. It is exceptionally difficult to find the right person to marry. That is why it is so important to think through your decision by asking and answering critical questions. Do not think that marrying will solve any problem you have with the person. For example, if you think television watching is a form of self abuse and your prospective spouse loves watching for hours a day, you may have a big problem. On the contrary, the ability of the unhappy to make the happy unhappy is far greater than the ability of the happy to make the unhappy happy. How much of your love is dependent on the sex you are having?If these questions and the ones I will pose in Part II are answered honestly and help determine your decision, your chances of entering a happy marriage or avoiding an unhappy one are dramatically increased. You therefore have three choices: Make peace with the problem, see if it can be solved before deciding to marry, or don’t marry the person. Likewise if you have opposing political and social views to which you are passionately committed. The power of sex is so great that it often obscures problems of relating to one another. Do you love talking when you don’t see, let alone touch, each other — such as by phone or computer?Following are some basic principles that help open the door to letting God's Word ...My husband asked me recently if I've ever been angry with God.

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